When we experience FOMO, what are we really afraid of?
Why Read This
What Makes This Article Worth Your Time
Summary
What This Article Is About
Oxford philosopher Bex Rowson argues that FOMO (fear of missing out) is more than a superficial anxiety about not having something nice — it is fundamentally a social emotion. Using a vivid restaurant scenario, Rowson identifies three key features of FOMO: it concerns an imagined absence, that absence is evaluated as damaging to one’s social connections, and its status as a genuine “fear” is philosophically contested.
Drawing on Aristotle’s theory of fear and the concept of recalcitrant emotions, Rowson ultimately defends FOMO as a rational and useful emotion — one that tracks real threats to social bonds that underwrite human wellbeing, longevity, and belonging. Rather than dismissing it as irrational, she suggests that moderate FOMO serves a genuine adaptive function by motivating us to maintain the social ties that matter most.
Key Points
Main Takeaways
FOMO Is Socially Wired
FOMO intensifies not when we miss something, but when others share an experience without us, making it fundamentally social in nature.
Three Features Define FOMO
FOMO involves an imagined absence, a social evaluation of that absence, and a debated status as a genuine form of fear.
Aristotle’s Fear Framework
Classical philosophy defines fear around danger; Rowson uses this framework to test whether FOMO qualifies as genuine fear rather than mere discomfort.
Not a Recalcitrant Emotion
Unlike irrational phobias, FOMO is not inconsistent with reason — it responds to real social threats that genuinely affect human wellbeing.
Social Bonds Underwrite Wellbeing
Research shows social connection boosts longevity and quality of life, giving FOMO a legitimate target — the preservation of meaningful human ties.
Moderate FOMO Has Value
A measured degree of FOMO can motivate us to accept invitations and engage socially; excess, like excess anger, is the problem — not the emotion itself.
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Article Analysis
Breaking Down the Elements
Main Idea
FOMO Is a Rational, Socially Protective Emotion
Rowson’s central argument is that FOMO is not a shallow or irrational anxiety — it is a socially calibrated emotion that alerts us to genuine threats to our human connections. Because social bonds are foundational to wellbeing and longevity, the fear that accompanies their erosion is philosophically justified, not merely neurotic.
Purpose
To Rehabilitate a Misunderstood Emotion
Rowson writes to reframe FOMO — widely dismissed as trivial or neurotic — as a philosophically legitimate emotional response with real adaptive value. She aims to persuade readers that understanding FOMO’s social logic helps us relate to it more wisely rather than simply trying to suppress it.
Structure
Anecdotal → Analytical → Philosophical → Prescriptive
The article opens with a relatable dinner scenario, then unpacks FOMO’s three defining features analytically. It next engages Aristotle’s theory of fear and the concept of recalcitrant emotions before arriving at a measured, prescriptive conclusion about FOMO’s legitimate emotional function.
Tone
Reflective, Accessible & Philosophically Measured
Rowson strikes a tone that is thoughtful and conversational, grounding abstract philosophical reasoning in everyday experience. She is neither dismissive nor alarmist about FOMO, but carefully balanced — acknowledging its downsides while making a clear, nuanced case for its value.
Key Terms
Vocabulary from the Article
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Tough Words
Challenging Vocabulary
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Describing an emotion that persists despite the person knowing rationally that it has no proper basis; stubbornly resistant to reason.
“We call fears like these recalcitrant; they persist despite our knowledge that the object of our fear is not particularly dangerous.”
To the extent that; used to qualify a statement by limiting the conditions under which it applies.
“Insofar as our emotions are the sorts of things we should or should not have, my FOMO over the wedding seems to land on the should side of things.”
Excessive indulgence in something; here, allowing an emotion to grow disproportionate to the actual situation, beyond what is useful.
“FOMO doesn’t feel great, and so, if we can avoid its overindulgence then so much the better.”
Reparation or compensation made for a wrong or injury done to another; actions taken to repair a damaged situation or relationship.
“Regret can motivate us to make amends.”
Imagining or picturing a future or hypothetical situation in one’s mind; mentally representing something that has not yet occurred.
“FOMO is characterised by our envisaging some absence as damaging to our social lives or social connections.”
Made ready or prepared in advance; in psychology and philosophy, disposed by evolution or conditioning to respond to certain stimuli or patterns.
“We’re primed, and for good reason, to track things that affect social dynamics and social ties.”
Reading Comprehension
Test Your Understanding
5 questions covering different RC question types
1According to Bex Rowson, FOMO begins the moment a person first learns that a desirable alternative exists — for example, when the waiter mentions the ravioli as an option.
2Why does Rowson cite the Dutch postcode lottery as an example in her argument?
3Which sentence best captures Rowson’s explanation for why FOMO can be considered a rational — rather than recalcitrant — emotion?
4Based on the article, evaluate whether each of the following statements accurately reflects Rowson’s argument.
Aristotle understood fear in terms of danger — specifically, harm that is close at hand, terrible, and capable of causing great pain.
Rowson concludes that FOMO is always excessive and should be actively suppressed because it distorts our perception of social reality.
Rowson argues that regret is an example of an emotion that can be appropriate even when the person experiencing it cannot change what happened.
Select True or False for all three statements, then click “Check Answers”
5Based on Rowson’s argument, what can be inferred about a person who feels absolutely no FOMO in any situation?
FAQ
Frequently Asked Questions
Rowson identifies three defining features: first, FOMO concerns something imagined as absent from our lives; second, that absence is evaluated as negatively impacting our social life or social connections; and third, it raises the philosophical question of whether it counts as genuine fear in the classical sense. Together, these distinguish FOMO from other emotions involving absence, like loneliness or regret.
A recalcitrant emotion persists despite the person knowing rationally that it has no real basis — like fearing a harmless house spider. Rowson argues FOMO is not recalcitrant because it actually tracks a real threat: the erosion of social bonds that genuinely undermine wellbeing, longevity, and belonging. Unlike irrational phobias, FOMO responds to something that can cause us authentic harm.
Rowson advocates neither suppressing FOMO nor being overwhelmed by it. She argues that moderate FOMO serves a useful purpose — it can motivate us to accept invitations and engage socially, preserving connections that matter. Excessive FOMO, like any excessive emotion, is problematic; but a reasonable degree of it is not only acceptable but potentially valuable for our social lives.
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This article is rated Intermediate. While Rowson writes in an engaging, conversational style, the argument draws on philosophical concepts — such as recalcitrant emotions and Aristotle’s theory of fear — that require readers to hold multiple abstract ideas at once and follow a layered line of reasoning. Familiarity with analytical reading will help, though the article is accessible to motivated readers without a philosophy background.
Bex Rowson is an early career philosopher and Junior Research Fellow at Christ Church College, University of Oxford. Her research focuses on emotions — how we come to know them, how they are expressed, and how they extend into the social world. Her academic expertise allows her to bring rigorous philosophical analysis to a concept (FOMO) that is usually discussed only in popular or psychological terms, offering a more precise and nuanced account of what the emotion actually involves.
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